Wednesday, March 28, 2007;
actually am not the person that u all know.. i always laugh at sch.. always being funni and happi..i often cry myself to sleep.. why? why? why? i realli wanna forget all those miserable and unhappi things that are accumilating inside me.. i always think that i could be strong.. ytd i fought wif my brother ... fight like mad! i scolded him vulgarities as i wanted to shout out what i realli wanted to say.. my mum was beside us.. she heard wad i said.. maybe i think she felt dissapointed i cant help it... i cried and cried in bed.. i realli wish that i could wash away my unhappi memories and only rmb the good one.. so i could realli be the normal me again..sometimes i have sweet dreams.. dreams that sum person would cme to me.. make me happi help me forget my unhappi things as the happi ones overcame it..i cherish myself.. though i am so miserable.. i wont do stupid stuffs that other ppl would do.. writing this realli makes mi wanna cry as all the unhappi things will cross my mind..i hope my dog is still here... so i could tell him all my unhappi things though he don't understand.. my mum sold my dog away to her friend.. i couldn't even celebrate his 1 year old b'day wif him.. i was grieved.. i just visited him 2-3weeks ago.. i look at him .. i hugged him and i couldn't control my tears.. i realli wished he could cme back to my family..my parents told us the reason why he sold it away.. they said all we could just think is computer and not the dog... i realli feel regretted.. how i wish i could turn the clock and mend my ways..though my dog aways bite me till blood come out and wounds just kip accumilating.. i dun mind it.. cause i love my dog alot.. i realli realli missed him.. but in time.. i know i will not feel this way anymore.. but i will nvr forget him..i always hope and hope that my mum friend would gif us back the dog.. i kip wishing my dog would be more naughty there so my mum friend would dislike him and return us back him.. but its the oposite she liked my dog alot so does her daughters.. i would be so selfish if i took him back.. my mum friend's daughter would also feel sad and miss it alot.. about my dog is just 10% of my grieveness,unhappiness and miserables..u could imagine my 100% of em.. u would just break down straight away.. AHHHHH.. i hope my dreams about that person would cme true.. realli i do hope..but don't matter what.. i still believe one day i could forget all these and look forward as a happi me..! well germaine go for it.. be happi aways ...
♥1:08 AM
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GERMAINE♥/AHSKIES♥